Last night was our second but last meeting before we leave next week. A feeling of excitement and anxiety filled the group as we listened to our final instructions and asked our final questions.
Life is messy! Months ago, when I thought about the pilgrimage I imagined I would be calmly preparing and reflecting on what lay ahead. My work would be done and filed away and my desk would be neat and clear as a sing of my organisation and competence.
Well that ain't the case let me say. I know you may be smiling at this point and thinking I should have known better and you're right!
Family demands, day to day routines, unexpected events and work all seem to conspire against my being able to complete anything in a way that I imagined. Pre-reading and packing will inevitably end up rushed and flailing as I race against time in the coming days before I can immerse myself in the great experience of a pilgrimage.
Or is there something else I am observing within myself?
Maybe this anxiety that things won't be done or done satisfactorily is my pride getting in the way of allowing the experience to be real. I am feeling humbled and maybe this is a good thing even if rather uncomfortable.
A quote from The Pilgrim's prayer that was in our folder sums it up well I think... "If some things do not happen on schedule as per the itinerary Lord, may I remember - I am a pilgrim not a tourist!"
Maybe letting go of my itinerary list and replacing it with God's itinerary is the lesson for me here.
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